So you think you can haggle?

What is it with Israelis and this idea that everything is negotiable? Now that I wrote it (the blogger's equivalent to saying something out loud) I am thinking "well, why shouldn't everything be negotiable?" But really, I mean, I enjoy the sporadic back and forth price haggling when buying something at the street market, or negotiating to get a service done, but here in Israel, there seems to be no shame nor limit in trying to negotiate things that in countries like the US, one would never think of questioning the price of.

 Having been raised in Colombia, South America, where haggling is common, I thought I was a pretty good haggler. Having lived in the US for 14 years, I lost the edge a little, but I still liked asking for discounts whenever possible. I enjoyed pretending to get up from the table at a car dealer so they would come back with a lower price, or saving some bucks on an on-line deal, but here in Israel, haggling is a whole different ball game. You can ask for discounts on things you never thought would be appropriate to ask. We got discounts on all of our appliances (bought at the equivalent of a small Best Buy), the installer who wanted to sell us four small rubber "thingies" to put between our stackable washer and dryer so it wouldn't wobble, went from 100 sheckels to 50 sheckels in the time it took me to raise an eyebrow at his first quote. I probably could have gotten the price down to 30, but I was too busy laughing at the situation to even ask. I went to the chiropractor yesterday, one who does not take health insurance and charges 500 sheckels for the first visit. Who in their right mind would ask a doctor for a discount? I figured, "when in Rome..." and said "wow, 500 sheckels! is there something you can do about that?" . "Well, lucky you should ask" he said. "I am running a promotion and if you Like my Facebook page, I'll give you the visit for half the price". I was floored! He didn't say anything or advertise his discount, but when I asked, there it was.

I must say, it sometimes feels exhausting being on the defensive thinking they are out to get you, but I've also come to realize that the Colombian saying " if you don't cry, you don't nurse  (el que no llora, no mama)" has never been truer as it is in Israel. So when you are here, go on, haggle.

HELP

Throughout this whole process of deciding to move to Israel, from the moment we said let’s find out what it would mean to live there, to packing our stuff and getting ready to leave, to actually living our new life in Eretz Israel, we have been amazingly surprised by people, by organizations and by a country that without any real connection to us personally, have a desire for us to succeed in our aliyah.

We have been blessed with great friends and family who have always supported us and who in this endeavor, despite the occasional “please don’t go”, have supported our decision and done whatever they can to help us. I love that we have this support, and am thankful for having it, but I must say, it isn’t entirely a surprise. I mean, if they made a decision like this, I would’ve been there packing up boxes too. However, to find people along the way that without even knowing you, want you to succeed and help you in the process, now that is a surprise. 

We have realized that as Jews, we have a country that not only opens its doors to you and gives you a nationality from the moment you set foot on its land (I come from the US, where to get a visa you have to jump through all kinds of hoops and people get deported left and right, so this is already a plus), but gives you cash as soon as you arrive in the airport and for a few months then after to help you get settled, transports you free of charge with your family and as many suitcases you decided to bring with you to your desired destination, provides you with classes so you may learn the language and provides you with countless tools to make sure you are properly absorbed into the Israeli culture. A country that does all of this so you can live happily in the land that God gave us, now, that is unbelievable. I know of no other country in the world that does this!

We have found the help of organizations like Nefesh B Nefesh, that has available everything you need to get adjusted to your new life and to help you through the process of moving. Do not make aliyah without their help! From putting together meetings with advisors about what areas to consider according to your life style and family status, to how to find an apartment and enter into contracts to rent or buy, to accounting practices, to job search, schools, everything… NBN helps ensure that your move is a success.
Through the aliyah department and our sheliaj, we found a non Jewish organization called Ebenezer, that believes in the existence of a Jewish State and that as Jews, we belong in Eretz Israel and provides both financial support and guidance to those deciding to make aliyah. I mean, isn’t this incredible? We decide to make aliyah and found a whole team of people we didn’t know existed rooting for us! This is so unbelievably exciting. I can’t wait to see what else awaits on the other side of the Atlantic!

Education, shmeducation?

No such thing as every child is created equal in Israel. I mean this in a good way, in fact I mean this in a great way. The interest our son's education has received from the moment we arrived in Modiin has been outstanding.
Our son Nathan is 6 years old, he turned 6 yesterday, on September 8th, which according to Israeli education "standards" (I use the term "standards" loosely as I have come to find there is no such thing here in Israel) makes him apt to enter kita aleph, or 1st grade. The cut-off date here to determine a grade a child should attend is Hanukka (around December). This means, Nathan would be among the younger kids in his class, but there will be younger kids who were born between September and December of the same year.

When Nathan entered pre-school in Miami 4 years ago, where the cut-off date is September 1st, he was just shy of turning 2 years old. Missing the cut-off date by only a week, the director of the school offered to 'bump" him up a grade where he would attend school with the 2 year-olds, or leave him in the 18-24 month-olds where he would be the oldest of his class. Thinking of the future, we thought being the youngest may mean not being ready to handle some of the skills other kids already mastered, such as holding the pencil right, reading, writing, etc; we thought it would mean he'd be the last one to have his Bar Mitzvah, the last one to drive, the last one to develop physically, and him being on the lower end of the height and weight curve, we thought it best to have him attend the younger class, where he would be the oldest student. It meant no exceptions would be made and it didn't mean leaving him behind, since that was really according to dates, where he belonged.
We were happy with the decision all along and not for one minute do we regret it. However,and I know every mother thinks their kid is the smartest kid on the block, Nathan is truly a smart kid. Not just book smart, but street smart. Not only I say it, since I am obviously biased, but his teachers say it, every adult he comes into contact with says it, and here in Israel after having been evaluated by social workers and education department psychologists, they say it. He is mature for his age and gets along better with older kids, so I would say that if we were given the choice to decide again, perhaps we would make a different decision and let him be the youngest of his class.

Now, this presents a problem. Although he is age appropriate for kita aleph, he hasn't attended Kindergarten.  Kita aleph is the first exposure children have to a structured classroom. No more singing songs and playing games to learn the letters. Kids actually sit in a desk, open up books and take down notes. Kindergarten prepares them for this, and Nathan has never had this opportunity. My husband and I had talked about this topic endlessly and after having weighed the pros and cons, decided that the best choice for him was to go to kita aleph and skip Kindergarten. We thought he was up for the challenge and he would be better able to develop in an atmosphere where his abilities would be tested. We first met with the education department coordinator for Olim (immigrants) for the city of Modiin and we discussed Nathan's situation and although she believed it best that he would stay behind one year so that the transition to a new environment (having just moved across the globe) would be easier, after sitting with us for two hours on two separate meetings, she said she didn't have the grounds for making a decision specifically for Nathan, but her opinion was based on what was generally done with kids in similar situations. She felt we shouldn't take this decision lightly, so she referred us to a psychologist at the education department to evaluate Nathan. Although we met with the psychologist for about an hour, after only five minutes with Nathan, she said "I don't see how he would have any problems going to kita aleph". We were pleased, but our decision making was not over yet. Because Nathan doesn't speak Hebrew, he would have the opportunity to attend ulpan, or Hebrew immersion lessons for the first four months of the school year before starting kita aleph. The pros: he would get to kita aleph knowing the language. The cons: he would enter kita aleph mid year after the other kids already have their studying habits in place and have made friends. The other choice we were given was for him to go straight to kita aleph, no ulpan. The pros: he would start fresh, just like all the other kids who have no idea they need to sit at a desk and take out their notebooks. The cons: He would sit a desk and not understand a word the teacher says. We weighed the decision for a few days and decided together with the education department coordinator, that the best for him would be to go straight to the classroom without ulpan. he would learn Hebrew along the way. Because having met with her and a psychologist was not enough for the education department to feel comfortable, they set up a meeting with the school's student adviser to introduce Nathan to her, to the school and to his teacher so that when school started, he wouldn't feel lost. We have been blessed with a teacher who speaks English and Spanish, so not only does she explain Nathan things in his language while he learns Hebrew, but she translates notes sent home to us and sends us e-mails letting us know what he needs to bring each day. The school has also set up twice a week lessons for Nathan and another child who has also recently moved here, to teach them Hebrew. This is all at no cost to us, only in the best interest of our child.
Israel may have its things, as does every other country, but the fact that children are treated individually, to me, has proven worth its weight in gold.