So you think you can haggle?

What is it with Israelis and this idea that everything is negotiable? Now that I wrote it (the blogger's equivalent to saying something out loud) I am thinking "well, why shouldn't everything be negotiable?" But really, I mean, I enjoy the sporadic back and forth price haggling when buying something at the street market, or negotiating to get a service done, but here in Israel, there seems to be no shame nor limit in trying to negotiate things that in countries like the US, one would never think of questioning the price of.

 Having been raised in Colombia, South America, where haggling is common, I thought I was a pretty good haggler. Having lived in the US for 14 years, I lost the edge a little, but I still liked asking for discounts whenever possible. I enjoyed pretending to get up from the table at a car dealer so they would come back with a lower price, or saving some bucks on an on-line deal, but here in Israel, haggling is a whole different ball game. You can ask for discounts on things you never thought would be appropriate to ask. We got discounts on all of our appliances (bought at the equivalent of a small Best Buy), the installer who wanted to sell us four small rubber "thingies" to put between our stackable washer and dryer so it wouldn't wobble, went from 100 sheckels to 50 sheckels in the time it took me to raise an eyebrow at his first quote. I probably could have gotten the price down to 30, but I was too busy laughing at the situation to even ask. I went to the chiropractor yesterday, one who does not take health insurance and charges 500 sheckels for the first visit. Who in their right mind would ask a doctor for a discount? I figured, "when in Rome..." and said "wow, 500 sheckels! is there something you can do about that?" . "Well, lucky you should ask" he said. "I am running a promotion and if you Like my Facebook page, I'll give you the visit for half the price". I was floored! He didn't say anything or advertise his discount, but when I asked, there it was.

I must say, it sometimes feels exhausting being on the defensive thinking they are out to get you, but I've also come to realize that the Colombian saying " if you don't cry, you don't nurse  (el que no llora, no mama)" has never been truer as it is in Israel. So when you are here, go on, haggle.

HELP

Throughout this whole process of deciding to move to Israel, from the moment we said let’s find out what it would mean to live there, to packing our stuff and getting ready to leave, to actually living our new life in Eretz Israel, we have been amazingly surprised by people, by organizations and by a country that without any real connection to us personally, have a desire for us to succeed in our aliyah.

We have been blessed with great friends and family who have always supported us and who in this endeavor, despite the occasional “please don’t go”, have supported our decision and done whatever they can to help us. I love that we have this support, and am thankful for having it, but I must say, it isn’t entirely a surprise. I mean, if they made a decision like this, I would’ve been there packing up boxes too. However, to find people along the way that without even knowing you, want you to succeed and help you in the process, now that is a surprise. 

We have realized that as Jews, we have a country that not only opens its doors to you and gives you a nationality from the moment you set foot on its land (I come from the US, where to get a visa you have to jump through all kinds of hoops and people get deported left and right, so this is already a plus), but gives you cash as soon as you arrive in the airport and for a few months then after to help you get settled, transports you free of charge with your family and as many suitcases you decided to bring with you to your desired destination, provides you with classes so you may learn the language and provides you with countless tools to make sure you are properly absorbed into the Israeli culture. A country that does all of this so you can live happily in the land that God gave us, now, that is unbelievable. I know of no other country in the world that does this!

We have found the help of organizations like Nefesh B Nefesh, that has available everything you need to get adjusted to your new life and to help you through the process of moving. Do not make aliyah without their help! From putting together meetings with advisors about what areas to consider according to your life style and family status, to how to find an apartment and enter into contracts to rent or buy, to accounting practices, to job search, schools, everything… NBN helps ensure that your move is a success.
Through the aliyah department and our sheliaj, we found a non Jewish organization called Ebenezer, that believes in the existence of a Jewish State and that as Jews, we belong in Eretz Israel and provides both financial support and guidance to those deciding to make aliyah. I mean, isn’t this incredible? We decide to make aliyah and found a whole team of people we didn’t know existed rooting for us! This is so unbelievably exciting. I can’t wait to see what else awaits on the other side of the Atlantic!

Education, shmeducation?

No such thing as every child is created equal in Israel. I mean this in a good way, in fact I mean this in a great way. The interest our son's education has received from the moment we arrived in Modiin has been outstanding.
Our son Nathan is 6 years old, he turned 6 yesterday, on September 8th, which according to Israeli education "standards" (I use the term "standards" loosely as I have come to find there is no such thing here in Israel) makes him apt to enter kita aleph, or 1st grade. The cut-off date here to determine a grade a child should attend is Hanukka (around December). This means, Nathan would be among the younger kids in his class, but there will be younger kids who were born between September and December of the same year.

When Nathan entered pre-school in Miami 4 years ago, where the cut-off date is September 1st, he was just shy of turning 2 years old. Missing the cut-off date by only a week, the director of the school offered to 'bump" him up a grade where he would attend school with the 2 year-olds, or leave him in the 18-24 month-olds where he would be the oldest of his class. Thinking of the future, we thought being the youngest may mean not being ready to handle some of the skills other kids already mastered, such as holding the pencil right, reading, writing, etc; we thought it would mean he'd be the last one to have his Bar Mitzvah, the last one to drive, the last one to develop physically, and him being on the lower end of the height and weight curve, we thought it best to have him attend the younger class, where he would be the oldest student. It meant no exceptions would be made and it didn't mean leaving him behind, since that was really according to dates, where he belonged.
We were happy with the decision all along and not for one minute do we regret it. However,and I know every mother thinks their kid is the smartest kid on the block, Nathan is truly a smart kid. Not just book smart, but street smart. Not only I say it, since I am obviously biased, but his teachers say it, every adult he comes into contact with says it, and here in Israel after having been evaluated by social workers and education department psychologists, they say it. He is mature for his age and gets along better with older kids, so I would say that if we were given the choice to decide again, perhaps we would make a different decision and let him be the youngest of his class.

Now, this presents a problem. Although he is age appropriate for kita aleph, he hasn't attended Kindergarten.  Kita aleph is the first exposure children have to a structured classroom. No more singing songs and playing games to learn the letters. Kids actually sit in a desk, open up books and take down notes. Kindergarten prepares them for this, and Nathan has never had this opportunity. My husband and I had talked about this topic endlessly and after having weighed the pros and cons, decided that the best choice for him was to go to kita aleph and skip Kindergarten. We thought he was up for the challenge and he would be better able to develop in an atmosphere where his abilities would be tested. We first met with the education department coordinator for Olim (immigrants) for the city of Modiin and we discussed Nathan's situation and although she believed it best that he would stay behind one year so that the transition to a new environment (having just moved across the globe) would be easier, after sitting with us for two hours on two separate meetings, she said she didn't have the grounds for making a decision specifically for Nathan, but her opinion was based on what was generally done with kids in similar situations. She felt we shouldn't take this decision lightly, so she referred us to a psychologist at the education department to evaluate Nathan. Although we met with the psychologist for about an hour, after only five minutes with Nathan, she said "I don't see how he would have any problems going to kita aleph". We were pleased, but our decision making was not over yet. Because Nathan doesn't speak Hebrew, he would have the opportunity to attend ulpan, or Hebrew immersion lessons for the first four months of the school year before starting kita aleph. The pros: he would get to kita aleph knowing the language. The cons: he would enter kita aleph mid year after the other kids already have their studying habits in place and have made friends. The other choice we were given was for him to go straight to kita aleph, no ulpan. The pros: he would start fresh, just like all the other kids who have no idea they need to sit at a desk and take out their notebooks. The cons: He would sit a desk and not understand a word the teacher says. We weighed the decision for a few days and decided together with the education department coordinator, that the best for him would be to go straight to the classroom without ulpan. he would learn Hebrew along the way. Because having met with her and a psychologist was not enough for the education department to feel comfortable, they set up a meeting with the school's student adviser to introduce Nathan to her, to the school and to his teacher so that when school started, he wouldn't feel lost. We have been blessed with a teacher who speaks English and Spanish, so not only does she explain Nathan things in his language while he learns Hebrew, but she translates notes sent home to us and sends us e-mails letting us know what he needs to bring each day. The school has also set up twice a week lessons for Nathan and another child who has also recently moved here, to teach them Hebrew. This is all at no cost to us, only in the best interest of our child.
Israel may have its things, as does every other country, but the fact that children are treated individually, to me, has proven worth its weight in gold.

Only in Israel

Israel is truly full of surprises. Good ones and bad ones. But the Israeli, as tough as it is on the outside, it is sweet on the inside. We had to drop off a document to our landlord and so we decided to "stop for a minute" on the way to buy our son's schoolbooks after we dropped him off for his first day of elementary school. I got out of the car to drop off the document while my husband and our daughter waited in the car. When the landlord opened the door, she said, come in. I apologized and said my husband was waiting in the car. Well, to our landlord, there was no way she was going to let us off. She insisted he get out of the car and come in. She served us coffee, cookies, took out a box of toys for our daughter to play with, and we talked for over an hour. I guess landlord/tenant relationships here are more than just a financial transaction. It means we are living in their house and we should have a relationship. She said she feels I am like a daughter to her. She invited us to her house for Rosh Hashana, but because we already have plans, we settled for succot. Amazing. She just met us, yet she feels like family.

Coincidences that only happen in the holy land... We went to the mall and my husband wanted to buy Crocs. Three-times-as-much-money-as-in-the-US-Crocs. He didn't get a chance to buy them before we came and although we are going back to visit in just two months and he could buy them then, he wanted them now, and so we went into the store. In our "challenged' Hebrew, we strike conversation with the sales lady, who happens to speak Spanish, so we immediately switch languages. She is from Argentina, her sister lived in Mexico and then in Miami, so there we have a few things in common. As we are filling out a form to get a discount, she asks for our address and as we say "Migdal Oz", she says "I live in Migdal Oz! what tower?" (there are 11 towers). "Number 1", we say. "I live in Number 1 too" she responds, amazed at the coincidence. her mom has already come up to our apartment to welcome us and offered us help in whatever we need.

OUR LIFE IN BOXES (PART DEUX)

Two hundred boxes made it across the Atlantic and were delivered to our door on Migdal Oz just a couple of days ago. The sight of boxes piled high and covering every square meter of our apartment is nothing short of overwhelming. I thought it would be a good idea to stay at the fully furnished apartment we rented until our container was delivered, for a couple more days until we get a chance to unpack a little, but after a month of being nomads, the idea of sleeping in our own bed sounds very alluring. We had shipped our stuff about 3 weeks before we traveled and stayed with my aunt in Miami for that time and then rented a temporary place in Modiin for 10 days. We decided it would be better to be uncomfortable for a month where we know our surroundings and feel "at home" rather than in a new place where we don't know how to move around, so we are lucky that after only 10 days of having made aliyah, our stuff has arrived and we can begin to build our new home and our new life with our own stuff. I am grateful for this, but still, the sight of 200 boxes invading our apartment is not a pleasant one.
I am maniac, obsessive, compulsive and un-diagnosed with every related disorder when it comes to having my house in order. "one day at a time" and "leat, leat" are not part of my vocabulary. I have unpacked all my prior moves in two days, so I figured now that I have two kids on board, I should extend the deadline a little. Erev Rosh Hashana (a week from now) I want every box, every piece of bubble wrap and packing material gone! We have been unpacking for 3 days straight and are down to about 15 boxes.

As one of the many surprises we have encountered here, we have been informed, after having purchased all of our appliances and having had them delivered, that the delivery guys do not install. This is a separate transaction that needs to be scheduled, so we now have 6 appliances sitting in our apartment boxed up (as if we don't have enough boxes) and have been calling for two days to schedule the installers, but have not been able to achieve what seems like such a simple task. Is it too much to ask for a little customer service? I guess the "the customer is always right" memo got lost in the mail on the way to Israel. Did I mention we have no refrigerator (we have been eating out breakfast, lunch and dinner for two weeks) and a pile of dirty clothes and nowhere to wash it? Grrrrr... There. I vented. I feel better.

Overjoyed and Overwhelmed

When we decided to make aliyah, we knew that one of the benefits provided to Olim by the Israeli government was a paid flight to Ben Gurion Airport. We soon found out that one of the ways to fly to israel, rather than coming by yourself on a commercial flight, was to join a Nefesh B Nefesh charter flight.  A flight where every passenger on board was making aliyah. We saw some videos on youtube of past arrivals and I immediately thought "if we are making aliyah, we are making it big and we have to get on a charter flight".  It was a challenge, because the flight left from JFK, which meant, our husband and I, our two kids, our dog, our 6 suitcases, a stroller, a pack and play and two car seats needed to make it to JFK from MIA somehow. It didn't matter how difficult it was going to be, the dream of joining this flight and making part of the incredible atmosphere aboard this plane was going to be worth it. And boy, was it worth it... As we arrived in Israel, we realized we were making history as it was happening before our eyes. The atmosphere aboard the plane was amazing. A mix of nervousness and excitement, nostalgia and hope from every single passenger aboard this plane. As we started to descend onto Ben Gurion Airport, passengers started singing Israeli songs, clapping, celebrating. Only on El-Al does the pilot have to ask more than once for people to please stop dancing and take their seats so we can land.  As we landed and the doors of the plane were opened, we descended a flight of stairs onto the tarmac where as Israeli music was playing loud, staff of NBN, hayalim and the families of those arriving, greeted us with signs reading "welcome home" and handed us little Israeli flags. The feeling of joy was so great, tears started to uncontrollably run down my face. The faces were a blur, as we didn't know anyone, but at the same time, they all looked familiar. They were greeting us as if we were family, which in a way, I guess we are. Finally, at the end of the welcoming line, a familiar face; my uncle who had come to greet us. We proceeded to a welcome ceremony, where the fact that it was 2 in the morning in America and we hadn't slept hit us. The adrenaline was starting to wear off and fatigue settled in. We still needed to pick up our teudot oleh and our ride home (or wherever our first destination would be). About 4 hours later, we got to a small apartment in Modiin where we would stay for about a week or two until we move to a more permanent home. Our friend Ethel was waiting for us at the door to the building. She had picked up the keys form the owner earlier that day and had filled the refrigerator with basics which would later that night when our jet lagged stomachs awoke, save us from hunger (not sure if this is an Israeli thing, or a very-special-person thing, or both, but the fact that she went to the supermarket and took the time to buy groceries for us was an incredible gesture).

From that moment on, our few days in Israel have been filled with incredible joy coated by overwhelment. Still feeling like a foreigner while trying to get settled in what is now our home. Trying to use my poor Hebrew to communicate so that I can start practicing turns into an entire new language with too many English words in it. We have so far picked up our teudot zehut, registered for health insurance (very easily done at a fair held by NBN-one more of the benefits of making aliyah in bulk), opened bank accounts (we are yet to see how the banking system takes us for a ride as everyone has advised us of the banking fees they charge, even for depositing cash into your account),  have registered our older son in school, have Israeli cell phones and have applied for a file in customs to have our shipment released. We have accomplished so much, yet there is a laundry list of things to do that grows by the yard after each meeting we have with the different coordinators and advisers.Our shipment has arrived, which means next week will probably be unpacking at our new apartment. My cousin has offered help which I have gladly accepted. We will need to transfer the electric, cable, gas, etc to our names, which we have yet to figure out how to do. We need drivers licenses so we can buy a car, go to the ministry of absorption to register for our sal klita, buy uniforms and school supplies and so many other things that I must not bore you with and that there is no point in writing since I have them already neatly listed on a Basecamp application on my phone :)  . Checking things off the list gives me such a great feeling of accomplishment!

Having been able to make aliyah in one of Nefesh B Nefesh' charter flights was the best opportunity we could have had. First of, NBN is an incredible organization. The red carpet of aliyot. They helped and guided us through the pre-aliyah process from gathering paperwork to recommending vendors and choosing the right city for us to settle in, they greeted us at the airport and helped us through the check-in process, held a farewell ceremony, took care of immigration from aboard the plane and since we have arrived, they have made the entire process of settling in (obtaining teudot zehut, registering our kids in school, obtaining medical coverage, etc) more manageable and less stressful. We have been lucky to have been able to make aliyah with their help.

Good bye, so long

And so the time to say good bye has finally arrived. 

After so much planning and thinking about this moment, the day to say good bye to all of our friends and family is here.Tomorrow is the day! 

The last few days have been a bit of a blur. Mixed feelings is a total understatement. Hearing the sadness on our closest friends' and family's voice is tough. I had made a silent promise to myself that I would say casual good byes. No sweet words, no long hugs. I broke my promise. It was inevitable. I said good bye to our best friends who we have shared the good, the bad and the ugly with, we said good bye to our cousins who we spent countless Shabbat dinners with, and the toughest of all, I said good bye to my brother and my sister in law. How could I keep my promise not to cry? It was the best broken promise ever! I sobbed like a little girl. Well needed and well deserved closure. 

We spent the day at the pool, with exceptional weather, clear blue skies, friends and family. We said good bye, cried a lot and promised to stay in touch. 

 I tried to talk to our friends and family in Israel, as much as i could as to compensate the "we'll miss yous" with the "we are waiting for yous"

14 years of wonderful experiences, of building a life in Miami, give way to a new chapter of our lives. I came to Miami as a teenager and leave now, just a tad older and a little wiser. Add a husband and two   kids, amazing friends and a ton of sunshine. Wow, I really will miss this place, no doubt about it, but I do feel more excitement about what's coming than nostalgia about what we are leaving behind. 

I am certain that what's awaiting us is amazing!